January 25, 2014

Character Interview: Josh (minus ferrets & friends)

An interview with Josh* from 'Half My Facebook Friends Are Ferrets', published by Curious Fox.

*somebody of Jackie's imagination...
Thanks Jackie for being here, as Josh (his minder et al) & allowing me a chat. I hope the Dead Duck pub didn't mind my trial day... I know it wasn't productive 'in their way' :P I got to know lots about Josh though, and you will too...
You'll see:
Amy: Hey Josh! *walks into Dead Duck* I'm new here, on a trial day... Name's Amy, Amy Bookworm. *looks around, confused* Is there actually a steady stream of washing up here? Seems quite deserted! Perhaps we'll have a chance to talk properly, eh? *gets out notebook to write notes*
A small, awkward pause later Amy decides it's time for the interro- uhh, interview.
Amy: For anybody who doesn't know, tell us a little about yourself!
Josh: Hey Amy welcome to the Workhouse! I’m Josh, AKA Josh the Destroyer, except that that’s in my other life as a death metal guitar guru. Here they just call me Josh or Shrimpy or, um, Sh*tface...
Anyway, when I’m not here slaving away up to my elbows in soap suds and grease I’m generally playing with my ferret, Ozzy or listenin’ to kick ass metal.

Amy: (Oi! Audience of this short interview film! We don't have music, grease or ferrets in common, nothing actually yet...) I wouldn't exactly call you a 'shit'face. *mumbles* That's a bit mean, and extreme. I mean, you're not exactly... well, it doesn't resemble *mumble ends* shit! *swiftly moves on and hopes he ignores me, or didn't hear* Umm, so... Which friend of yours, out of Peter, Davey & Ollie do you consider yourself closest to & how did you meet?
Josh: Hmm, tough one that, since they’re all basically annoyin’ knobheads. Maybe Peter as I’ve known him the longest – his mum and mine were at antenatal classes together.
There again, Peter is probably the most annoyin’, so maybe Ollie. Although Ollie does nag me to do his homework for him which gets on my nerves...
I guess on balance Davey is the least annoying. Plus he has the best stuff.
Oh and I first spoke to him in a PE lesson at secondary school. He was hiding behind the wooden horse thing.

Amy: Peculiar mates, but... *waves hand in air dismissively before she can say something she'd regret* I know you've thought ahead to 16, but what about 26? What do you see yourself doing then?
Josh: Good question and an easy one! I will be heading up my own death metal band somewhere cool like Finland or Vegas. I will be universally revered as the best guitarist since Hendrix. *Crosses fingers and prays!*

They like Josh's diary...
I will also have a rescue sanctuary for unwanted or mentally unstable ferrets called The Ferret Asylum and someone to cook my meals, do all the washing up etc.

Amy: *nods* Fair enough. What subject do you think you'll get your best GCSE grade in? Which is your favourite?
Josh: Well it should be music but we have to study all this crap music like Baroque, jazz and RnB *shudders* so I guess it’d have to be maths... Although I do completely despise maths

Amy: Uhh... Maths, you think it's that bad? *wonders who is the drama Queen now* If you could have only one of your five senses, which would you keep and why? (to audience: Can I take much more of this? Just... :P)
Josh: Hearing. Life wouldn’t be worth living without the auditory wonders of metal. Though eating is also good. Is eating a sense?

Quick Fire:
{Roleplay idea}: Would you rather be stranded on a beach with your arch nemesis or all by yourself?
Or, maybe... dogs XD
J: As my arch nemesis is Lydia I think it’s clear I’d rather be by myself, unless it turned into a Hunger Games scenario and I could hunt her down... but no, she’d probably kill me first
Hogwarts House? Slytherin
Fave Season? Smoked parprika, oh sorry thought you said seasoning. Winter
Best word to describe you? Awesome (ish)
Cats or dogs? Ferrets! 
Guilty pleasure? My Chemical Romance. DO NOT tell anyone – please!
Your best chat-up line? (XD) You’re so hot you must get terrible BO
If you had to say one thing for us all to remember you by, what would it be? Keep metal dudes

(Nope, I think we're going to remember you by your chat-up line, not metal love. I know I don't think all his list is possible? Girlfriend? Josh? Nooo, I don't see it, from a girl's perspective. If I had been a potential, he'd have totally messed it up even with his sweet or funny moments, still... Sorry Josh, boyfriend material just isn't one thing you are, for me! XD)

Au reviour! Tschüss! 
(any goodbye other than English from me).
Hei sitten (that's finish, apparently).

Hope you enjoyed this! Thanks again J :)
~Amy Bookworm

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